How to Spot Them — How to Stop Them
Our New World of Adult Bullies connects the dots to show how bullies at all levels of society follow the same predictable patterns of behavior.
Our New World of Adult Bullies connects the dots to show how bullies at all levels of society follow the same predictable patterns of behavior.

Bullies exist everywhere: families, workplaces, neighborhoods and communities, politics and government, and organizations of all types and sizes. And in a media landscape where conflict, crisis, chaos, and fear reign supreme, every day we see the worst behavior of celebrities, politicians, and other public figures who serve as role models.

Winners and losers. Friends and enemies. Heroes and villains. People with high-conflict personalities think almost solely in these extremes. They regularly express unmanaged emotions, routinely blame others, and do harmful things that 90% of people would never do. Bullies share these characteristics, plus a drive to dominate or destroy their victims.

But all bullies act in the same highly predictable patterns, regardless of their demographics and situation. By focusing on the ten hidden powers bullies employ—from their unrestrained nature and bully story to manipulating emotions and playing the victim—Bill Eddy unpacks the way bullies rely on primitive emotions and nonverbal behavior. He helps readers spot these behaviors and offers practical actions before they become immobilized by helplessness, blame, and shame.

In today’s world, we all may have an adult bully in our lives sooner or later. For anyone who has a bully in their life now, for professionals who counsel victims of bullying, and for anyone who is concerned about the fraying of our culture and society, this book gives effective strategies to prevent bullies from taking over. Eddy’s six-step approach includes useful advice on how to:

• Recognize the patterns of bully behavior
• Pull the plug on the bully’s story
• Set limits with credible threats
• Impose serious consequences
• Communicate effectively about bullies to others
• Stand strong with others against bullies